I’m Kayla. I love my morning prayer, my blue mug, and that warm first sip. And yet, some nights, I’d be on my phone way too long, scrolling, then crossing a line I said I wouldn’t. I’d wake up so heavy. Shame in my chest. Like a thick coat I didn’t ask to wear.
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Here’s the thing: my faith calls me toward peace. Porn pulled me toward numb. I wanted one simple rule to fix it all. I didn’t get that. I got a bunch of small moves that added up. If you want the blow-by-blow of that experiment, you can peek at my full week-long journal. And yes, a few tools that actually helped.
You know what? I’ll tell you what I used, what worked, and where it got annoying. Real examples. No fluff. Just my experience.
Side note: for a deeper look at how paying for your adult content can shift perspective toward respect and responsibility, visit Pay For Your Porn.
Why This Felt Messy (But Still Worth It)
On Sundays, I’d sit in church and feel like everyone could see right through me. That wasn’t true. But it felt true. Guilt is loud. Grace is soft. I had to learn to make space for the soft voice. Slow breath. Small prayers. Less “I failed,” more “I’m learning.” Another writer likened the tug-of-war to staring down actual demons — her story is raw and relatable in the best way. (Demons and Pornography: A Hands-On Review).
I kept a short note in my phone: “I want peace. Not a quick hit.” I read it after dinner, because that time was risky for me. Boredom is sneaky.
What I Used (And How It Really Felt)
Covenant Eyes — Accountability With Teeth
I used it for six months. For anyone curious, that's six solid months with Covenant Eyes, not a weekend trial. I set my cousin as my “ally.” The app takes tiny, blurred screenshots and flags risky stuff. It then sends a report. Twice my cousin texted, “You good?” Once at 11:12 pm on a Tuesday. We took a quick walk around the block. Cold air. Hot tea after. It helped.
- What I liked:
- The weekly report made me think ahead. I felt seen, but in a good way.
- It cut my late-night spiral in half. The “someone will know” nudge worked.
- What bugged me:
- It flagged a swimsuit store and a fitness reel. Awkward.
- It drained my battery a bit, and setup took patience.
Would I keep it? If you want a guardrail and a human touch, yes.
Canopy — A Filter That Shows Up Fast
I used it on my iPhone for two months. It blurs bad images in real time. I tested it on Instagram Explore and a couple news sites with trashy ads. It blurred fast. Kind of wild to watch, like fog rolling in.
- What I liked:
- It blocked stuff before I could “accidentally” tap. Which, let’s be real, wasn’t always so accidental.
- A PIN kept me from turning it off in a weak moment.
- What bugged me:
- Safari felt slower.
- It blocked an art site I use for work. I had to whitelist it, and that took steps.
Would I keep it? Great for family phones or if you want strong walls.
Fortify — Skills, Not Just Rules
I did the 90-day path from Fortify (You can find it here: Fortify). Short videos. A trigger map. Daily check-ins. The science bits were simple and clear. One night I did the “urge surf” tool at 10:38 pm. I set a timer for 10 minutes, breathed, and wrote one sentence: “I’m lonely, not broken.” The urge eased before the timer buzzed. Kind of shocked me.
- What I liked:
- The trigger map. Mine was: late nights, tired, scrolling alone.
- The streaks were helpful, but not harsh.
- What bugged me:
- Some videos felt cheesy. Like a health class from school.
- The app layout got busy.
Would I keep it? Yes, if you want skills and a plan, not just blocks.
Brainbuddy — Gamified, But It Works
I used it for 45 days. Daily tasks. Mood check. Breathing. A little “rewire” training. It felt like a game, which I liked until I missed a day and my streak broke. Ouch. I used the “reset with care” feature and wrote why I stumbled. That helped me be kind and still honest.
- What I liked:
- Fast check-ins. The little wins felt good on long days.
- The breathing drills calmed my body fast.
- What bugged me:
- The streak thing can mess with your head.
- Some prompts felt a bit copy-paste.
Would I keep it? Yes, if you like goals and reminders.
Hallow — Prayer That Met Me at Night
I tried Hallow during Lent. The Examen helped me name the day without sinking in shame. I’d light a small candle, put my phone on the dresser, and listen to the “Litany of Humility.” Sounds churchy. It soothed my nervous system. The sleep prayers kept my hands busy and my mind soft.
- What I liked:
- Breath prayers. “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.” In, out, slow.
- A calm voice when my brain ran hot.
- What bugged me:
- Some content sits behind a paywall.
- It’s very Catholic. That fit me. Might not fit you.
Would I keep it? Yes. It pairs well with filters and skill apps.
The Little Things That Helped More Than I Expected
- I charge my phone in the kitchen. Not by my bed. Huge.
- I set my screen to grayscale after 9 pm. Less shiny. Less “one more scroll.”
- I told one friend the plain truth. No drama. Just, “This is hard for me. Can I text you if I’m stuck?”
- Two “interrupts” that worked:
- Cold water on my wrists for 30 seconds. It resets my body.
- A 3-line journal: What I feel. What I need. What I’ll do for 10 minutes.
History nerd moment: apparently even people in powdered wigs were wrestling with racy material. Here’s a PG romp through 1700s erotica if you need proof that the struggle isn’t new.
Also, I keep a small rosary in my coat pocket. My thumb finds the bead when I’m anxious. It’s odd, but it grounds me. Like a seatbelt.
What Changed (And What Didn’t)
I didn’t become perfect. I became honest. The shame got lighter. My prayer got real. I learned that boredom, stress, and loneliness were the real culprits. Porn was just the quick patch.
My faith didn’t fix me like a magic trick. It gave me a way to begin again. Confess, breathe, call a friend, walk, pray, sleep. Repeat. Progress, not panic.
Who I Think This Helps
- If you want hard blocks: Canopy.
- If you want a human check-in: Covenant Eyes.
- If you want skills and a plan: Fortify.
- If you like small daily nudges: Brainbuddy.
- If prayer steadies you: Hallow.
Mix two. Don’t stack five and burn out. Keep it simple.
Quick Pros and Cons Roundup
- Covenant Eyes: Strong accountability; some false flags; setup takes time.
- Canopy: Fast filter; slows browsing; blocks art/photo sites at times.
- Fortify: Clear tools; a bit cheesy; still useful.
- Brainbuddy: Great for momentum; streak stress is real.
- Hallow: Peaceful nights; paywall; very church flavored.
A Small Story to Close
One Thursday, I got hit with the urge after a rough work call. I stood in my kitchen. I put