I’m Kayla. This is a heavy mix, I know. Demons and pornography sounds strange in one breath. But that’s how it felt for me—like a shadow that sits in your pocket and whispers at night. Not a monster with horns. More like a pull.
You know what? I won’t preach. I’m just going to share what I used, what worked, and what got in the way. Real stuff. Real examples. No scare talk.
A late-night picture, so you see what I mean
Last Monday, 11:26 p.m., the house was quiet. I was on my iPhone 13 mini in the dark, blue light on my face, half bored and half wired. I told myself I’d just scroll. That “just” is the trap. My brain went, Hey, let’s go look at adult stuff. It felt like a little hiss in my ear.
I didn’t. But only because of what I had set up. Here’s the gear and the habits that helped.
What I tested (and actually used)
- iPhone 13 mini (iOS 18)
- MacBook Air M1
- Covenant Eyes (accountability and content blocking)
- Fortify (the program from Fight the New Drug)
- Hallow app (Addiction/Temptation prayers and sleep tracks)
- A beat-up notebook, a candle, and some silly tricks that somehow worked
Covenant Eyes: Strong net, sometimes too tight
I’ve used Covenant Eyes for months. I put it on my phone and my Mac. I set my sister, Jess, as my ally. It sends her a weekly report with blurred screenshots. Nothing graphic—just hints—enough to nudge me back to the path if I drift.
Real examples:
- Tuesday at 10:41 p.m., I tried to open a site I knew I shouldn’t. The app blocked it. Big white page. My stomach dropped. The moment passed.
- It missed one reel on Instagram’s Explore page that was suggestive but not full-on adult. That bugged me. It caught the obvious stuff, but gray areas slip by.
- It flagged a swimsuit ad on a news site and sent Jess a note. Awkward text from her: “You okay?” I was fine, but I had to explain.
- At Starbucks, their Wi-Fi and the app’s VPN fought each other. Pages timed out. I toggled off Wi-Fi to 5G to finish an email. A tiny pain.
- Battery: on my phone, it drained 7% more on days I streamed music and scrolled a lot.
A quick note on the cultural buzz around this software: when news broke that U.S. House speaker Mike Johnson once used Covenant Eyes to monitor his teenage son’s browsing, it sparked a whole new debate about how far accountability should go—The Guardian laid out the details here.
What I like:
- It’s a speed bump at the exact worst moment.
- The weekly nudge from a real person helps way more than a bot.
What I’d fix:
- Better handling of gray-area content.
- Smoother Wi-Fi/VPN handoff and less battery drain.
My plain score: 8/10. It stops me when I’m wobbly. Not perfect, but solid.
Fortify: Tools for the brain, not just the phone
Fortify is a program with short lessons, little quizzes, and a mood tracker. I did the “Triggers Map” and the “Urge Surfing” audio. Sounds cheesy? I thought so, but I did it anyway.
Real examples:
- Wednesday, 10:18 p.m., I was stressed after a long day with spreadsheets. Old pattern: stress leads to risky browsing. I opened Fortify and used the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding trick (five things I see, four I feel, and so on). It took 90 seconds. The urge dropped from an 8 to a 4. Not gone, but smaller.
- The community forum felt warm, but the posts could get cliché. Still, seeing “Day 12, small win” posts helped me keep going.
- The streak meter is silly, but I care about streaks. I didn’t want to break it, which is the point.
What I like:
- Short lessons I could do while waiting in a pickup line.
- Concrete tools that work mid-urge.
What I’d fix:
- Tone can feel rah-rah at times.
- I’d love deeper science notes and fewer buzzwords.
My plain score: 7/10. Good brain tools. Less pep talk, more meat, please.
Hallow app: Faith voice when the dark is loud
I’m not pushy about faith, but I grew up hearing my grandma call temptations “little demons.” Hallow has a Temptation/Addiction pack and sleep prayers. I tried them at night with my old lavender candle.
Real examples:
- Night 3, I played the St. Michael prayer and then the sleep story. I was out in 12 minutes. No late-night scrolling.
- The “Examen” at lunch helped me notice triggers: hunger, stress, and lonely afternoons.
- Push alerts were a bit much. I had to trim them back to mornings.
What I like:
- Calm voice, simple words, gentle structure.
- It gave me language when I felt stuck.
What I’d fix:
- Fewer pings. Give me one good nudge, not five.
My plain score: 6.5/10. If faith helps you, it helps. If not, you’ll skip it.
Two books that shaped my frame (no graphic stuff)
- The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis: It’s letters from an older tempter to a younger one. It gave me a way to name the whisper without hating myself. I put “Jargon, not argument” on a sticky note by my desk. That line reminds me the voice sells fog, not truth.
- Your Brain on Porn: I read this back in college. It helped me see the loop—novelty, click, spike, crash. Some debate the science, but the model fit my lived pattern. When I could name the loop, I could step out of it.
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Small habits that felt bigger than they look
These seem tiny, but they changed my week:
- I charge my phone in the kitchen, not by the bed. I bought a $9 alarm clock.
- I set Focus on my iPhone to block browsers after 10 p.m. If I really want to pass it, I can—but that pause is enough most nights.
- Grayscale mode at night. Less color, less pull.
- I told Jess two key times I slip: after work and right before bed. She checks in then, not random.
Real example:
- Thursday at 9:57 p.m., I felt the itch. I lit a small candle and wrote one page in a notebook. I named the urge “Red Static.” Sounds odd, I know. But when I gave it a name, it wasn’t me. It was a thing passing through. The page ended with “Walk.” I walked for eight minutes. When I came back, the pull was thin, like fog.
(For anyone curious about how fragile these systems can be, Wired showed what happened when Apple briefly yanked Covenant Eyes’ enterprise certificates, leaving users without protection for hours. It’s a reminder that even the best tools can vanish in a blink.)
So… demons?
I don’t think a cartoon demon sits on my shelf. But the way shame and habit twist together? It can feel born from a pit. Naming it helped me. Tools helped more. People helped most. I pulled those threads together in an extended reflection — you can read the [full story of my week battling demons and pornography](https://www.payf